I just found out that it's gonna cost me $100 dollars to get my mail sent to me over the summer because they can't do a hold for longer than 30 days.

I realized last night that I didn't write or bubble in my exam number on my Torts scantron. The office said they check, so I may be safe, but I may also have just given away a whole letter grade in that class. Why do I always do this to myself?

My exam last night sucked. I have absolutely no idea how I did. I may well have gotten half the multiple choice Q's wrong. My second essay was a rambling mess with few clear statements of law. I think a few more hours of studying would have helped with the essay, but not with the multiple choice. I don't know what happened there. They just know how to write the hardest Q's ever.

I have a ton of property to go over today, but now I know I have to do better in that class and K to make up for Crim and Torts. Ugg. I am tired and want a nap. I can't wait to go home, but I am totally not ready. I need time to clean and pack. I need to return stuff at the mall. I need to get my mom a mother's day gift. I need to meditate because my mind is a mess right now.

I still don't know what to do about Stephanie, but she is leaving the Chancellor with someone else for the summer so now even that excuse to talk to her is gone. And I am lacking the will to add more stress to my finals week. Maybe things will be clearer in August. I think it has just been a rough year.

This summer, I am going to scout out future job opportunities and write two op-eds to try and get published. I am going to read a few novels, and then I am going to run around England. It should be fabulous but there is a bit of a cloud hanging over me right now, so I am not as excited as I should be. I don't know what I really want from my life. I don't know what I expect from others or myself. I don't know what to work on in me. I am angry that my back is so bad right now, and that my last epidural didn't do anything. I am traumatized about having no insurance next year. I need to lose 20 pounds and kick my food addiction once and for all. I need clarity, focus, self-control, and the ability to let things go. I need to see Dailey and Rina. I need to see Gurudev all summer...