Not quite the most embarassing day of my life, but pretty damn close.

So, today, after much effort, I left the house in a skirt that came to my knee for the first time since I was in middle school. No joke. This took courage, and I felt very self conscious, but people were supportive. My fake tan made my feet look a little splotchy, but all in all I felt that things were going well. It is at this point in my story that I would like to make two important points:

1. God knows when your pride is getting a little out of hand, and at least in my case, periodically likes to spend a week or so flicking me in the back of the head as punishment.

2. I am telling this story because it is so embarrasing that I still want to curl up in a ball and cry, and in fact nearly did in class today, but I strongly believe that putting it out there will take away it's power to harm me...eventually...in a few hundred years.

So on the lawn today, sitting in the glorious sun with my friends, trying very hard to be comfortable even though I am rarely comfortable in any position for more than 1 minute, Manky informed me that I had flashed her. And then I did it again. And again. And I laughed and blushed, and played along, but I was pretty embarassed and remebering why I like pants so much. But really, I was among friends, and i knew I didn't flash her like a homeless guy in Oak Park or a hooker, so it was all good.

But then, because God could see that I was still needing a little more, he really got me. I went to the restroom, and when I came out, this chick, potentially an enemy, or at least someone who has every reason to want to tell the world, had to pull my skirt out of my supportive girl boxer briefs. And um, well, I just didn't know what to say, so I said sorry, even though I meant thank you, and I was sort of dizzy and wobbly from the shock of the whole thing. And I was thinking about how I will probably not wear another knee length skirt for another 15 years after that moment. And then I skurried out of the bathroom.

And there was Collin standing outside. I raced by and did my best too look invisible as I sat down in class, and then it occurred to me that had she not been there at that moment to notice, I would have walked out of the bathroom and turned my back to Collin with my butt showing, and he, being a mute would have said nothing, and I would have walked into class with my butt showing, and everyone would have cracked up, and I would have burst into tears, grabbed my shit and run home, and officially stopped going to class for the semester, maybe forever. Then it occured to me that in all likelihood, she had probably run over to her friends, who were sitting outside within a few feet of Collin, and told them the whole story, and so he probably knows anyway.

And then, my computer lost all my word files and I had to handwrite my notes for the rest of class. I found them later but, I spent an hour and a half in class not knowing, and quite frankly, I have no idea what the professor said during that whole time.

So Stephanie, that's what was wrong, and why I didn't say anything, and why I will absolutely die if it comes up in public EVER!!! Except for the people who read this blog, because I wanted to save you the embarassment of having a moment like this. NEVER... EVER... wear knee length skirts unless you practice at home first. And probably not even after that. They're dangeous, especially if God is mad at you.

By the way, I take it back. This was the most embarassing day of my whole life up til now.