Mara Goes to Switzerland

OK, seriously, I have no idea how we didn't miss our flight. We left too late from the hotel really, although at the scheduled time. Then the driver decided he would take every little backroad known to man, so it took an hour and 20 minutes to get to Hethrow when my dad had planned on about 45 minutes. He was having a nervous breakdown, which caused me to get very stressed, and mom walks soooooo slow so I didn't see how this was going to happen. Then the computer would only check them in and so I had to get in some other line, which did NOT move! By the time I got to the front, my parents had checked their backs and gotten boarding passes and sent mom through security. Luckily, the guy gave me a fasttrack sticker because my parents had them, and then we ran to security ourselves, where we met this evil, evil woman who said we could only walk through that point with one bag per person, even though one of our bags was mom's, who was gone, and the other was a camera. But nope...we could not pass. She had no concern whatsoever for our plight, AT ALL. We basically crammed our two biggest bags sooooo tight that they wouldn't close, all the while freaking out because the flight was leaving in 30, no make that 25 minutes, and then..........they pulled my bag to search!!! I HATE THE BRITISH! And, of course, my bag was in a line behind tis woman who was clearly a terrorist because they had to SLOWLY scower every inch of her HUGE carry-on, and then her hsbands, both of whom were in no hurry to get anywhere so they just sprawlled out on the tables and carefully repacked, which kept them from being able to check my bag because you can only have one person's stuff on the table at a time. Finally the British Airways chic chewed out the other lady and grabbed her crap and moved it aside because she knew I was late, or maybe just because she hated that couple as much as my dad and I did, and she told me I could pack up. I was much faster at it...and then we ran. Thank god we had sent mom ahead to the gate or she'd never have made it, and she kept them from cancelling us off the flight. I was runnin and I heard some guy call for a "Ms. Guertin for Zurich!" And I waved and yelled back for dad to run and we panted up to the counter where suddenly everyone got very polite and friendly again and told usto relax, and breathe, and not to hurry. Seriously?! I am freaking out. My hearts is pountding, I can't breathe, and I am absolutely fucking amazed we made it and that the plane is still here. My dad is bleeding from his hand because he was attacked by his bags in security, and now it's on his shirt. I hate flying.

Once on the plane, i sat with the little air thingy pointed at me and tried not to frighten my neighbors with excessive breathing and sweating. After we took off, Elizabeth, a New York, actress who is orginially from Canada but who started out in LA, and really should have gone to LA at 18 instead of getting and MBA and Law degrees first, apparently for her mother, introduced herself and then told me all about her crazy three-day trip to see her "boyfriend" who she knew now she had to end it with because he wants sommeone to fly all over for short trips to meet him while he's on business so he can spend very little on them (because he is Jewish, apparently) and get married even though he barely knows them, and text them all the time because he is very clingy. She was sort of hilarious, but likeable. Very New York. But whatever. I just can't believe we made it!